z370 K6 Fatality XMP/overclock issues

I am a newb at this first of all.  I turned off Multi Core Enhancement and am trying for my own stable, safe overclock.  I am trying a 47 multiplier and 1.32 vcore.  I turned OFF Speed Step, Speed Shift, and Turbo Boost.  When I booted into Windows it kept putting my clock back to stock 3.7.  I guess I have to keep Turbo Boost on?  Are there other settings I should be changing for a safe 4.7 overclock besides just setting the multiplier to 47 and turning off speed step?  

My temperatures at 4.7/1.3vcore in Destiny 2 were between 65-80.  Is that normal?  I feel like pushing into the high 70s and touching low 80s at load seems high, but maybe I'm not used to these new chips.  I ran Firestrike and got a 23150 ish, but during the CPU test my 8700k reached into the high 90s.  Same during a Cinebench (I think it got like 1390-ish, but ran up to 98 degrees which makes me nervous to run it again, but also seemed low compared to other scores I saw.... does RAM affect this?).  Runs in the 30s totally idle, around 40 when I've got some browsers open.  

The main question here is that when I tried to enable XMP I couldn't boot Windows, froze on login.  My RAM is showing up as 2133 when it should be 3200mhz.  I noticed there was an XMP switch on the motherboard that I didn't mess with - should I try that?  And if I do that, I shouldn't mess with BIOS settings right?  The sticks are in slots A2 and B2 I'm pretty sure as the manual instructed.  I'm getting a little worried and frustrated with my build so far that things don't seem to be working, temps may be too high, and my fans sound SOOOOO loud (not really the mobo fault though).  Even at normal ~1000 rpm they sound so loud, and I put them up to performance mode to keep temps down and during gaming they sound like a vacuum or something running next to me.